


goodbye's the last time I will hold you near

by Zephyroh



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, I have feels, I'm Sorry, I'm so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-04
Updated: 2018-01-04
Packaged: 2019-02-28 10:34:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13269639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zephyroh/pseuds/Zephyroh
Summary: ‘’It’s nothing.’’, he whispered in a strangled, shaking voice. ‘’Let the past die.’’. She pretended not to notice how he choked down on that last word. She pretended not to feel his pain. She pretended she wasn’t feeling his loss in every inch of her body.And she pretended that for the first time, he wasn’t lying to her.





	goodbye's the last time I will hold you near

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a conversation on twitter, and also i like pain and angst  
> un beta'd some apologies for the mistakes

The suns were hanging low in the sky when the ceremony began.

As the warm wind of Tatouine blew around her, Rey took in the familiar sensation of sand dancing around her ankles and dust in her lungs. She marveled at how some distant planet across the galaxy could feel so much like her own. The voice of the priest soon rang across the desert setting, vibrating through the silent audience. It was some sort of aldreraan prayer Rey did not recognize. Looking around her, the grief painted across everyone’s face felt like a knife through her heart.

Even though she hadn’t spent much time herself with the General, the impact the woman on people was not lost on her. She had a way of imposing respect yet kindness, leadership and understanding. At the corner of her eyes, she could see Finn placing his hand on Poe’s shoulder, who was trying not to let his tears show. Besides them, Rose was crying too, head down. Only a handful of people were there – it had been deemed too dangerous to let everyone go on this trip, but she knew back at the Rebel base, it was a moment of grieving too.

Closing her eyes, the void that now filled Leia’s presence, as well as Luke’s dawned on her. The priest was now singing, and a few other people joined along, Poe the loudest among them. She managed to catch a few words – it was a farewell song. It ended on a painful whimper of Chewbacca, and the coffin was now lowering on the ground as the sun were nearly hidden behind the horizon.

As the tradition of Tatouine demanded, one by one, the attendant passed by the hole, throwing a handful of sand, symbolizing their last goodbye. With her heart in her throat, Rey let the sand slip between her fingers, her eyes wandering across the marble stone with the words ‘’Leia Organa – Princess – General – Mother – Rebel – Hero’’ engraved into it in delicate, golden letters. Right beside her were a few other tombstones. On each of her side were Han’s and Luke’s – Chewie had insisted on it despite everyone knowing they were empty. In another row right behind were a few names Rey didn’t know but rang familiar to her ears: Shmi Skywalker, Anakin Skywalker, Padmé Amidala.

In a heavy silence, the hole was soon closed, the moon was shining, reflecting against the cool, hard stones, and Rey stood alone in front of the graveyard of this tragic family. She closed her eyes against, reaching out, feeling the Force all around her. Part of her was hoping to find traces of them. Luke had said the Force was a balance, that nothing was really lost, just transformed, so she hold on to that hope and looked for them everywhere and nowhere, in anything and nothing.

The wind blew. Sand whipped her legs. And she wasn’t alone anymore.

She didn’t turn around as she wasn’t sure she was prepared to see his face. She pondered a few seconds about shutting him down, but the grief that was piercing her heart stopped her.

 It wasn’t her grief. Just this once, just for this, she would let him.

When a tear slid down her cheeks, it wasn’t hers either.

‘’It’s nothing.’’, he whispered in a strangled, shaking voice. ‘’Let the past die.’’. She pretended not to notice how he choked down on that last word. She pretended not to feel his pain. She pretended she wasn’t feeling his loss in every inch of her body.

And she pretended that for the first time, he wasn’t lying to her.

He moved behind her, approaching slowing, passing by her to face his mother for the first time in years. He sank to his knees, reaching out a trembling, gloved hand and brushed softly against the stone. Acting on instinct, she reached out as well, resting her hand on his shoulder. He tensed for a fraction of a second, only to relax right after, and Rey could have sworn she heard a muffled sob. Soon after, his own hand was covering hers.

The wind blew harder. The air sparkled with energy, and had they paid more attention to their surroundings, they would have noticed a few feet from them two silhouettes, glowing in a soft, blue light, watching them from afar with overwhelming tenderness mixed with infinite sadness.

‘’Look how he’s grown.’’, she said.

Luke nodded, placing a ghostly arm around Leia.


End file.
